Friday, October 22, 2010

Blog challenge day 8- a moment

This one is a bit hard for me. A moment. well in my life i have had many bad and many good moments. Im thinking maybe this is just a moment in life that had a big impact on me. So here it goes.

I had never witnessed anyones death. To me is was terribly scary and something that i never wanted to see. When we met Dale, my step mom, i knew she was sick and about a year before her passing is when we found out that she would not make it. I helped with her alot with showers, clothing, making meals, meds, cleaning, talking, anything she needed. That was hard for me but i was used to being a caregiver, just not for someone who meant so much to me. As the time drew closer to the end, i didnt know what to expect. To make this a long story short and not so emotional, the night dale died , nov 30 2008 was a moment in my life that i will never forget. It was heart breaking, relieving, scary, so many different things all at once. It was around two o clock in the morning when i woke up, was in the kitchen drinkin mylanta, yeah i was a wreck, her son came and got me and said its time. I walked down the hallway which seemed to take ten million years to get down. I sat down next to her. We were all there, at about 3 30 am, she came out of whatever state she was in looked all around at all of us and took her last breath. My heart was pounding harder than it ever has in my life. It was sooo weird, within two mins after her passing all the color came back to her face and she looked young and peaceful. It was hard to deal with, losing dale, but at the same time it brought us all much releif to know that she was not suffering anymore.

Blog challenge day 7- my best friend

How cheesy right?? LOL well its true, Geromy is my best friend. Even though were married im able to talk to him about ANYTHING. We understand each other on a level that most people dont. He gets on my last nerve sometime and im sure i get on his but at the end of the day its all so worth it to be married to my bestest friend in the whole world. I dont know what i would do without him. He is always there for me <tries to be anyways> sometimes there is a few things that he just cant understand but he surely does try :). Love u Geromy!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Update- Provera day one

I was really hoping that my period would show up on its own as it has for like the last 6 or seven months. No such luck, on CD 43 or something now and still not here. Dr wanted me to start provera today and take it for ten days before i go in for my appt on the 8th. I really didnt/dont wanna take it, not sure why. I dont like taking things that are new, but it seems like im going to have to start getting used to it at this point. The only side effect ive had so far is my heart was speeding up a bit, which inturn sky-rocketed my anxiety. Not a good combination. Thank god for zoloft lol. 9 more days of it to go and i cant make it hurry and quicker lol. I knew that it was only a matter of time after coming off bc pills that my cycles would go completly out of whack again. Im not lucky enough to have been cured!!

So ive been thinking about this whole infertility thing im going through. Its more than just emotional pain. I get blood drawn every two weeks which bruises the hell outta my arms its worth it tho. And i think its kinda funny about how many people have to look at my women parts every two weeks lmao. Last time i had a internal ultrasound their were three people in the room, the dr the nurse and an MA lol its kinda funny, i dont even care anymore. Here it is ladies and gentlemen do what u gotta do. I have found that real soon here im going to be laying on my back a majority of the time lmao sorry tmi i know. Gotta have some kinda humor tho right?! i will get through all this. In the mean time i just gotta live laugh and love<3 thanks for reading. have a great night