Dont wanna be let down again.

So its been like a week or so since i have wrote on here, i apologize for that :) So here is an update for about the last week or so.

CD 14 woo hoo i got a temp spike, Its about that time!

CD 15 up even higher!

CD 16 again even higher!

CD 17 Still up!

CD 18 truckin along....

CD 19 same

CD 20 temp went wayyyyy low, was very dissapointed and was in a pissy mood all day long becuase i thought that this meant that 1, af was coming early or 2, i didnt actually ovulate. I was bitchy all day long and was so bummed out, i totally took it out on my hubby and my dad, Ugh poor guys. Anyways, i decided to look up why my temp would dip back down like that, there was two reasons. 1, short luteal phase, i know i dont have that so i kept looking and came across what is called implantation dip that can happen as early as 4DPO! I freaked i told hubby and i was so excited i wished that i wasnt so excited because i didnt wanna be let down again. An implantation dip is when u get a dip in your BBT after ovulation. When u get this it only goes down for one day, indicating that implantation has prolly occured. SO of course i got way nervous and thought, no my temp wont go back up tomorrow.

CD 21 OMG my temp shot up even higher than before, i was again, way excited! Told hubby and i could tell that he was trying to hold his composure and not get overly excited because its not a for sure thing. I couldnt help myself. Anyways Today is CD 21 and i had a dr appt this morning at the fertility clinic. It was my mid luteal appointment to see if i ovulated. The dr was doing the normal U/S and explaning it to me and geromy as he went a long and he was great! This was the first time we got to see this dr and i was totally impressed. Anyways, At first he told us he prolly wouldnt be able to tell if i had ovulated just by the ultrasound. Well he saw my uterus lining and it was totalllly thick and bright he said that means i most likely ovulated, woo hoo! I knew i had, then he was checking my ovaries and you could literally see where i ovulated on my left ovary, it was crazy and then he was for sure! Again, i was so happy. He said i should know by christmas if all the Baby dancing has paid off lol. I am sooo excited and so confident but i am trying not to let myself feel this way because i soooo dont wanna be let down again. I think if i have a negative test this month, it will be the hardest one for me ever!

Christmas is only a few days away and we are almost all done shopping and have everything ready. Im very ready for the new year and hoping that i will get my lil miracle for the new year!! We even already have names picked out. Now i would say what they are, but im so paranoid someone will take them lol lol. Maybe i will soon. IDK. Anyways thats all for tonight. I hope you are all doing well. Goonight