Thursday, October 7, 2010

A bit down today.

Well i found myself feeling kinda down today about this pcos thing. All the symptoms that i am getting are truly depressing. The infertility, hair growth, slight hair loss, the acne, weight gain, pelvic pain, the mood swings, just the overall experience of this is horrible. Its so odd to think that three years ago i had never even heard of this pcos hell. If it werent for me and my hubby getting a book called "getting pregnant" , i cant help but feel that i may have never known. Its all still so weird. Seeing that there are foundations and donations for support for pcos, pcos ribbons, awareness month and even 5k walks and runs, really makes me think, wow this really is for real. No cure, i think thats the part that is the scariest. To know that us women have to pretty much just endure what is being thrown at us because all in all there is nothing we can really do but try our asses off and then get depressed when we "fail". Especially when every month you POAS and once again its a negative test. Babies are everywhere with everyone its always a constant reminder of what i cant have at this time and its down right depressing. Here i go again rambling but truly this is all heartbreaking. I keep telling myself that there are things that i can do to minimize the symptoms but i just cant bring myself to commit to that. Maybe its cuz of depression, who knows. I just know that im tired of pcos and i want it to go away!!!!

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