Saturday, October 16, 2010

Update and rambles

So yesterday i went in for my blood tests so that i could get back into the study. I have hard to find veins, so i usually just tell the medical people to take it out of my hand, usually they do but this time she wanted to try one in my arm ok fine, well she blew the vein in it like i could see my vein dissapering. Hmmm that was fun, so she ended up still having to take it out of my hand. Ouch. I look like i was abused lol Anyways, she will have my results back on monday and then she will call in my prescription for provera to induce my period. Im hoping i dont have to take that and it will just come on its own. anyways, After that i go in for my baseline vistit to get my fertility meds, my journal things, and then , well, i just go at it lol. Im super excited to get started with all this. I think the coolest thing would be to get my + test around christmas!!
I would just like to vent about how much is sucks having PCOS. the pills, the tests, the infertility and mood swings, i could go on forever. Im not trying to throw myself a pitty party im just sayin. lol. It gets old. I wish it would just go away. But i know thats not going to happen, so all i can do is fight like hell. I can deal with all the crappy side effects, after i have my babies. Thats my biggest problem in all this. Somtimes i do feel sorry for myself but ive learned that this will not get me anywhere. So, all i can do, is fight. I wish i didnt have to spend my life fighting for the simple things in life but i guess that was gods plan for me, to make me a stronger person.
it pisses me off to see women who just pop out kids and dont even care. Or the ones that get pissy over the positive test that i would kill for. The ones that throw their babies in trash cans like they are nothing. Or the ones who get pregnant on accident with their boyfriend or husband and think that its not a conveint time in their life so they kill it. Its soo heartbreaking to me. So please all of you that have babies, cherish them. They are a gift from god and are so innocent. They just want to be loved and live. Ok enough of my emotional ramble now. Have a good night :)

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