The baby fever is starting to hit so hard that sometimes it almost is making me sad. I wish that i could be like other ladies and be able to plan , get pregnant, have a easy going pregnancy and have a beautiful healthy baby without having every fear in the world on my shoulders. I'm pretty jealous to be honest. I'm always happy for my friends and family when they announce their pregnancies or when the babies are born but i can not help but feel jealousy, sadness and frustration all at the same time. I pitty myself and my situation. I want so desperately to have at least one more child if not two. I want Jace to have brothers and or sisters to grow up with, i want a big family. There are so many obstacles standing in my way and its very intimidating. Infact its so intimidating that i find myself struggling with be able to complete the tasks to make it more possible and safer for me to have another child. Like weight loss, that is the biggest thing right now. To add the pressure of it all on top of the fact that its really hard for me to lose weight makes it seem almost impossible. I hate PCOS - Preeclampsia-HELLP syndrome & Gestational diabetes :( I need to get up and moving and do everything i can to make sure that i get pregnant this year, yup i said it. My goal is to be pregnant by the end of 2014. Ok rant over. Here we go....
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